


Flash! The Musical

by JQ (musicmillennia)



Series: Olivarry Week 2015 [4]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Crack, Humor, Hypnotism, I'm Serious, Love Confessions, M/M, Singing, do not take this seriously, musical episode, singing and dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 10:57:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5045659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicmillennia/pseuds/JQ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 4: Anything Goes</p><p>When a meta-human with a flair for the dramatic comes into play, Flash and Arrow must upstage her in any way possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Smooth Criminal

**Author's Note:**

> I know, unoriginal idea. Honestly I had three separate pieces to post today, one of them being this one, another a Dragon Riders AU, and a Dark AU. This one won, but I may just post the others some other time anyway.
> 
> I hope you like! The next chapter should be up later today.

Oliver’s just returned from a solo mission when Feliciy reports, “There’s a new metahuman in Central City. They’re thinking super-charged hypnotism.”

Oliver can believe a lot of things. ‘Super-charged hypnotism’ is not one of them.

“Really?” he says as he hangs up his bow, “And why do they think that?”

“Well, the Mayor and his wife were found clucking like chickens. One of them even tried to lay an egg. Don’t know how that would’ve worked.”

And…okay. That did sound like a stereotypical hypnotist. Whoever it is, they probably did that to demonstrate not only something they could do, but to also let everyone know what their abilities were. Why, though? Why not just hypnotise someone off a roof? Change a politician’s ideals?

Felicity interrupts his thoughts. “I see wheels turning,” she says.

Oliver’s fingers stray on his quiver. “Has Barry gone to look for them yet?”

“Yeah, Caitlin said they pinpointed the location measuring sound waves. Apparently that’s how the hypnosist works, they manipulate sound waves. Like really powerful brain waves.”

Oliver whirls around to face her. “Get them to call Barry back, _now_.”

“What—?”

“ _Now_ , Felicity!”

“Oh! Okay!”

But just as she reaches her phone, a flash of lightning and wind rips through the foundry, and there Barry stands. His mask is down; he looks panicked.

Oliver wastes no time in reaching him. “Barry! Are you okay?” he demands, “What have I told you about running in blind?”

Barry’s mouth works. His hands don’t seem to know what to do with themselves. Oliver’s eyebrows twitch together. He and Felicity share a glance.

“Barry,” Oliver tries again, gentler this time, “what happened?”

Suddenly, Barry starts…singing. (Really well, actually.)

_“This is not what I want!_

_This is not what I planned!_

_And I just gotta sa-a-ay,_

_I do not understand!”_

Felicity is gaping; Oliver can only stare, even as Barry grabs him by his jacket and yanks him forward.

_“Something is really—”_

“Something’s not right,” Oliver murmurs.

Barry steps back, putting index finger tapping his nose while his other hand points at his friend. _“Really wro-o-o-ong! And we gotta get things back where they belo-o-o-ong!”_

Felicity bursts out laughing. She stifles it when faced with Arrow’s withering glare and Barry Allen’s hurt puppy look. “I mean,” she clears her throat, standing so she can put a comforting hand on Barry’s shoulder. “We’ll fix this.”

Oliver sighs, “I’ll call Diggle. Then, Barry, this is the only time I’m going to ask you for this, but…you need to run us all to Central City as soon as possible.”

Barry brightens. Without warning, he throws his arms around Oliver and cheers,

_“He’s my best friend, best of all best friends,_

_Do you have a best friend too?”_

“And Barry?” says Oliver. When he gets a falsetto “ _YEAAAAH?”_ he snaps, “Shut up.”

At least Barry has the grace to pull away from him and offer an apologetic salute. Oliver pats his back and turns to his phone.

“Dig? We’ve got a problem.”

* * *

“Thank God,” Caitlin groans when she sees Felicity arrive at the lab.

“Yep! And my shirt’s on fire again!” Felicity shrieks.

After the newcomers—except Oliver; apparently Cisco’s improvements involved friction-proofing—are given S.T.A.R. Labs sweatshirts, Cisco approaches Barry with no small amount of mirth on his face.

“How are you, buddy?” he asks.

“Cisco,” Oliver chides, but Barry indulges his friend.

_“’Cause yah had a bad day,_

_Takin’ one down,_

_Y’sing a sad song just to turn it around—”_

“How do we stop this?” interrupts Oliver.

“Well, we could modify a headset we made for Barry when he went up a against a telepathic gorilla,” Caitlin begins.

“Wait, what?” says Diggle.

“Long story. Anyway, we haven’t identified her yet, but it’s a she, and she’s not a telepath. But maybe we could…do something that blocks out her powers.”

Felicity nods, “In the meantime, Barry shouldn’t open his mouth.” Barry hums his acknowledgement in the form of a song Oliver thinks is from _The Wizard of Oz._

“That’s how she wants to reveal Barry’s identity,” Caitlin explains, “she’s…got a thing for dramatics. A few minutes ago, the mayor clucked to the police that whoever kept singing was The Flash.”

“So Barry lost his voice, simple,” says Diggle, “Joe and Eddie can cover for you.”

But Cisco cuts in, “Uh, guys…I think there might be a problem with that.”

They follow his eyes. “Barry?” Oliver asks, “What’s wrong?”

Because Barry is turning as red as his suit, as if he’s struggling with himself…until he throws his arms open wide and—

_“Let it go! Let it go!_

_Can’t hold it back anymore!_

_Let it go! Let it go-o!_

_Turn away and slam the doo-o-or!”_

Oliver sighs. “You can’t stop singing, can you?”

Barry regretfully replies, “ _You can’t stop the beat.”_

“Great,” Felicity mutters, “And you can’t call in sick, that would be too suspicious so soon after this…incident. You’ll have to make it through one day. Can you do that?”

Barry shrugs, “ _I went to the—danger zone!”_

Oliver shakes his head, “This isn’t like any enemy you’ve faced, Barry. You have to do whatever you can.”

Diggle asks, “Is there any way you can speak?”

Barry looks thoughtful. Then he opens his mouth—

_“His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy,_

_There’s vomit on his sweater already, Mom’s spaghetti—”_

“No,” both Caitlin and Felicity interrupt.

Cisco’s grinning. “Please tell me we can record all this.” When everyone stares at him, “What?”

* * *

Barry walks into work with Joe at his side.

“Remember, kid,” Joe murmurs, “Short notes only, like we practiced.”

Oh, what a practice _that_ had been. Joe couldn’t stop laughing for the first half hour. It turns out Barry can control how long he holds out each word if he really concentrates, but he can’t control how obvious it is that he’s singing. Nevertheless, he takes a deep breath and nods.

“Allen!” calls Captain Singh almost as soon as they step into the bullpen, “You got those results I asked for?”

Barry, not expecting to be tested so soon, replies, _“Ye-ah.”_

Joe winces. This is gonna be a long day.

* * *

It only gets worse.

Although Barry somehow escaped suspicion by the skin of his teeth, his bright entrance of, “ _We-e-e-e are the champions, my frie-ends!”_ is shot down by the tense silence choking S.T.A.R. Labs.

“Oliver’s com got cut off,” Felicity says, back stiff. “We can’t risk sending Diggle in there. It’s a warehouse on 34th and Rochester.”

Barry’s rendition of _“Gotta go fast! Gotta go fast!”_ is swallowed by his lightning.

* * *

The Flash arrives to a warehouse empty of anybody outside of Arrow. Oliver’s hands are clenched into fists, white-knuckled grip on his bow as he turns to face Barry with nothing but defeat on his face.

_[“Are you okay, Annie?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x58qBu6FB6Q) _

_[Annie are you okay?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x58qBu6FB6Q) _

_[Will you tell us that you’re okay?”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x58qBu6FB6Q) _

Oliver’s jaw clenches. Slowly, he turns his eyes from the floor to meet Barry’s.

Oh no.

_“You’ve been hit by—_

_You’ve been struck by—”_

And Oliver finishes, “ _A smooth criminal.”_


	2. I Can't Believe There's More! It's Far Too Long, I'm Sure!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that both Oliver and Barry must sing, duets are inevitable. Hopefully they can find the key to defeating their enemy before she forces them to admit things they'd rather keep at rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEEEEYYYYY IMPORTANT NOTE!!!!!! I've tried and tried again, but to no avail. When you get to the "Barry's body starts to move" link, GO TO 53 SECONDS IN!!!!
> 
> Kudos to anyone who got the musical puns in the summary ;D
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this! Without further ado, let's raise the curtain and see how our heroes will fight back!

Once the team has regrouped in S.T.A.R. Labs, Felicity is able to recover some security footage audio, because when asked if he remembered anything from his encounter before Barry's arrival, Oliver could only shake his head.

"So," a female voice, deep and resonant, intones through the room, "once again the Arrow comes all this way to help The Flash. If I didn't know any better, I'd say there was something going on between you two."

Arrow ignores this, of course. "Release him."

"Oh, come now. It's not like I'm doing any harm. I actually think he's good. Wasn't expecting that - you don't expect superheroes to have any talents outside of acting all high and mighty."

There's the sound of an arrow being strung. "Last chance.  _Release him._ "

"Then again," the voice continues, apparently unbothered by the threat, "we never really know a person, do we? I'd like to know you, though, Arrow. How about we have a deal: you tell me your name, and I'll fix your precious Flash."

A telltale whistling sound, followed by a feminine cry of pain.

" _Fine_ ," she growls, "if you want to play it that way! How about you suffer the same as your boyfriend?"

Nothing but unintelligible whispering for a minute. Felicity tries to enhance the audio to no avail.

Afterwards, the woman speaks again, her voice a sharp command: "Test."

[Suddenly, Oliver Queen starts singing the Canadian National Anthem.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FDYXxaRltw) Felicity quickly stops the playback, much to Oliver's relief.

"Why the Canadian National Anthem?" Cisco wonders.

Oliver holds up a finger. _"Shut up, just shut up, shut up."_

Everyone turns to Barry, surprised, because he'd been harmonizing in perfect time. He looks just as confused as the rest of them.

"Try again," Caitlin urges.

Barry shifts from foot to foot, meeting Oliver's incredibly uncomfortable gaze.

_"It's like your my mirror -"_

And Oliver replies,  _"O-oh, my mirror starin' back at me."_

Then, together, Oliver lower, Barry higher,  _"I couldn't get any bigger with anyone else beside of me."_

It would seem that, since both Oliver and Barry are stuck singing, they can't stop singing duets.

* * *

Quite a few extensive brain scans later, Cisco and Caitlin conclude that only their strange enemy can fix their singing problem.

While they're analyzing the data, Cisco quietly asks, "Is it just me, or do they keep singing love songs?"

He's right. For some reason, after that first harmony, Oliver and Barry keep, er, performing together, and their song choices have consisted of nothing but romance. Even now, Barry is being the Nala to Oliver's Simba in the next room. And just for the record, hearing Oliver Queen singing  _Can You Feel the Love Tonight_ is probably the best and worst thing to happen. Ever.

Diggle isn't surprised. "Am I the only one with eyes around here?"

"No," Felicity replies, raising her hand, "I've got them too."

"What do you mean?" asks Cisco.

Thus, Team Arrow has to explain to Team Flash what happens when two vigilantes who are used to hiding their affections love each other very much. This lecture is aptly accompanied by - _  
_

_"He's holding back, he's hiding._

_But what, I can't decide!_

_Why won't he be the man I know he is,_

_The man I see insi-i-i-ide?"_

(By the way, Cisco is going to burn this whole debacle on a CD. For scientific purposes, of course.)

* * *

"Okay," Caitlin says later on, "while we can't reverse what's already been done to you, we've concluded that something's been happening with your optic nerves. Kind of like Bivolo, only she also uses sound waves."

Cisco adds, "We can give you something for your eyes. It might not stop you from getting whammied, but this way you've got a better chance of fighting it."

Barry gives a rhythmic laugh. At everyone's questioning looks, he turns to Oliver,

_"I need help believing_

_you're with me tonight._

_My wildest dreamings could not foresee_

_lying beside you -"_

"So we need a strategy!" Felicity squeaks, "Right now!"

 _"Hey, hey, what can I do?"_ ask the heroes.

Diggle speaks up. "I think I've got a solution for you. But you're not gonna like it."  _Yet_.

* * *

The Flash and Arrow return to the warehouse from before, as that's where Wavelength's - "Get it? Because she uses brain waves!" - power is traced.

She's waiting for them, a wide smirk on her face. Her outfit is all black, with a translucent cape that's decorated with blue and white swirls - as if her flamboyancy hadn't already reached a point. She stares at them through thick black-framed glasses, her auburn hair cascading past her shoulders in two neat braids.

"Hello again, boys," she calls.

Apparently they can break their love songs if they're angry enough, because both Barry bursts refrain of,

_"Fuck you,_

_Fuck you very, very, mu-u-u-uch._

_'Cause we hate what you do,_

_and we hate you're whole crew,_

_So please don't stay in touch!"_

With Oliver bitterly adding,  _"Ba-duh-duh-da-duh-duh-da."_

She throws back her head and cackles. "It's even better than I hoped! Oh, this is priceless!  _Please_ tell me you've been singing love songs or something. That would just make this so much better!" They don't dignify that with a response, but she starts laughing anew regardless. "It's too good! I'm crying! Have you confessed your love for each other, then?"

As if this couldn't get any worse, Barry blinks and suddenly the glasses Caitlin and Cisco made have been thrown aside. He and Oliver are facing each other, their teams yelling for them to "snap out of it" over the comms. He tries, he really does, and he suspects Oliver does too. It's pointless; the hood and mask have been thrown back and whatever's been bubbling inside Barry's chest every time he looks at Oliver is bursting to the surface.

Only...it's Oliver who starts.

_"I got chills! They're multiplyin'!_

_And I'm lo-o-osin' contro-hol!_

_'Cause the power you're supplyin' -"_

They touch, and a shock goes through him.

_"It's electrifyin'!"_

Their teams sound like they don't know whether to cry laughing or scream in horror. Meanwhile, our - ahem - heroes back away from each other in synchronized steps while Barry is forced to open his mouth.

_"Y'better shape up! 'Cause I need a man!"_

_And my heart is set on you-u!"_

Oh fuck, oh no, his hands are settling on his hips, which are  _cocking_ , fuck  _everything_ right now -

_"Y'better shape up! You better understa-a-a-and!_

_To my heart I must be true!"_

Oliver shakes his head. His eyes are wide and alarmed - no, scared. He looks terrified.

_"Nothin' left, nothin' left for me to do!"_

[Barry's body starts to move; Oliver responds,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArWWB2hcWDgt=0m53s) and everything is just going horribly, horribly wrong.

_"You're the one that I want! Hoo-oo-oo, honey!_

_The one that I want!  Hoo-hoo-hoo,_

_The one that I need, oh yes indeed!"_

They spin together, hands clasped, feet stepping in perfect time with each other. Barry had no idea he could dance like this - or Oliver, for that matter. Amazing what you could do when you're being controlled by a melodramatic bitch.

Thankfully, Barry stops their dancing; not only that, he pushes Oliver away. There's hope springing in his chest -

But no. Instead of shouting about the injustice of it all, possibly for the rest of his life, Barry jabs his finger on Oliver's chest.

_"If you filled with affection,_

_n' you're too shy to convey,_

_Meditate my direction..."_

He grabs Oliver's hands and drags them down his own body. Their faces are far too close for this.

 _"_ Feel  _your way..."_ he is going to shoot himself when this is over. No, actually, he's going to ask Oliver to shoot him, because at this point he wouldn't be surprised if the Arrow's already itching to do just that.

Fortunately, their invisible choreographer directs them to separate again. Rather, Oliver's backing up, and Barry's stepping forward.

_"I better shape up! 'Cause you need a man -"_

_"I need a man!"_ and  _that_ is one thing Barry never thought he'd be shout-singing in the middle of an abandoned warehouse.  _"Who can keep me satisfi-i-ied!"_

Oliver yanks him in by the arms.  _"I better shape up! If I'm gonna prove -"_

Barry feels himself nod.  _"You better prove - that my faith is justified!"_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yes I'm sure down deep inside!_

_You're the one that I want! Hoo-oo-oo, honey!_

_The one that I want! Hoo-oo-oo, honey!_

_The one that I want! Hoo-oo-oo!_

_The one that I need, oh yes indee-ee-eed!"_

And then, at long last, Wavelength cries out as Diggle subdues her from behind.

Barry and Oliver can move again. The latter recoils first.

"This -" he pants, "this  _never_ happened."

Barry is all too inclined to agree.

Does he also agree he wished Oliver never looked him in the eye in told him he wanted him?

Well.

* * *

"So are you guys finally going to be a thing now?" Felicity asks once they've left Wavelength in her new cell.

Barry very carefully looks at Oliver. Oliver, who is very carefully  _not_ looking at him.

"That depends," he says after a moment, "I mean, I don't  _need_ a man, but I definitely  _want_ one."

Caitlin groans into her hands while Cisco snickers. Diggle seems oddly proud.

And Oliver - he brushes his thumb across Barry's cheek and replies, "That still never happened."

Barry grins, "Never ever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of the second chapter is from Monty Python's The Song That Goes Like This, which almost made the cut as the final duet. I'd definitely recommend a listen.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
